SCARE EASY

I was feeling depressed, a little bit sad. Maybe it was a sense of powerlessness to influence on the scale I feel is required at this point. I used to be OK reaching two of every one hundred people I addressed, maybe at a spoken word gig, maybe in print but two is no longer enough. To change the momentum the too-many have accepted, been caught in, and given an engine to, we need a lot of people, a lot of minds, a lot more critical thinking, and maybe a few people willing to sacrifice themselves for a better future that will not happen without them.

The old soundtrack brought me out, brought me up, and helped me find my anger. I am fucking sick of people who will not sacrifice telling me to do so and threatening me with sanctions should I refuse. I am physically angry when people who haven't earned respect but presume such exists admonish and declare, who strip away the means of livelihood without accepting responsibility for the consequences of this enforced idleness.

"Hey! If you take away earning power without also removing the debts and obligations you will have a revolt on your hands. How were you too stupid to see this? And are you ready?"

Because I question the behavior (and intelligence) of our so-called leadership does not automatically mean that I lack belief in science or that I think the earth is flat or that I voted for the Cheeto at the head of the State. For fuck's sake, if you think P means Q in that context you are part of the problem. In other words, are you staying home because it really IS best for everyone, or because, after your own thoughtful, critical assessment you have decided it is the right thing to do, or is it because that's what you always wanted to do? And if the government will underwrite your isolation and idle recreation then why the fuck not?

Well, first off, because you are doing what you are told to do and regardless of whether that is convenient and comfortable for you or not you are writing a habit and making yourself more susceptible to every authoritarian suggestion in the future, even those that may be inconvenient or even life-and liberty-threatening. You are being socially engineered. Fucking think about it.

If you believe that thinking for yourself got you where you are — professionally, socially, athletically — then why aren't you thinking for yourself now? Are you armed with a mind or hiding your head under a pillow, hoping this will pass and that your 401k — your entire future — will come out relatively intact? And that the world, your world, will return to normal. Can't you see that the chance for that came and went a long time ago?

If you are still in doubt, consider who is doing the telling ... politicians all, and only interested in maintaining their position, men and women who turned the age-old dictum that "knowledge is power" on its head and now expect you to believe that "power is knowledge" and that they know best. If they actually cared about you and were organized and united enough to do something with that we would be in a totally different place right now. And who is repeating their message or questioning those who question it? So-called journalists or reporters who cannot "report" without injecting their personal bias and are still receiving a fucking paycheck. Would their opinion and actions change if they couldn't pay their bills or put food on their plates?

You once believed that the lifestyle, dietary, and fitness choices you made put you on a higher level — made you harder to kill — than those who allowed "life to happen to them" and accepted whatever shitty hand they were dealt. You shouted it from the garage gym rooftops. You flexed your muscles and your vocal chords to declare your difference, your separateness, your oh-so-virtuous habits. Where are you now? Are you hiding out, isolated? Declaring with inaction that you never truly believed your choices and your "health" shielded you from the world, from what you can't see, from social and political pressure you once imagined yourself independent of? Why aren't you out there circulating, expressing your autonomy, demonstrating the result of your self-indulgent practice?

You were strong enough to lift the weight, solid enough to pull the bar, to make that sweat angel ... and where are you now? Too weak to resist, too flaccid to think for yourself, too scared to fight for or against a future you were preparing yourself to address? They shut you down. They declared you non-essential. Your business is closed and your savings spent trying to hold on long enough to reopen, to recover the norm, your precious and illusory autonomy ... Oh, man, was reality the one bar you couldn't lift?

Allow me to redirect your focus, to show you something worth resisting, a fight worth having. Every time a politician expresses himself he exposes himself. He wants to suppress and control the fire you lit when you took control of your own health and fitness. He wants to extinguish the independent thought that kindled the blaze you nourished and fed and blew upon to make it hotter and brighter, that you tended so others might see it and respond by igniting a blaze of their own. Once your words were a bellows that fed and fueled a flame ... I don't hear them now.

Do you realize how the narrative has changed? Do you see that "flatten the curve" (spread the case load) became "crush the curve", "eradicate the virus ... and we can if you will suffer a little more, isolate a little longer." In other words, spend yourself into dependence, and once you have no further option, ideally just days ahead of your outright revolt, the government will come along to save the day ... What? Too soon? Too paranoid? Too conspiratorial? Maybe. Maybe not. What is the harm in gaming this out? You have the time and pent-up energy. At least you should.

It is time to react. To shout. To dissent. Do you need a script? OK. How about this? "Hey, leaders! Pay attention. You insulated, you isolated, behind your walls and your guards and the shield of your bank accounts, your delusions are that of control. I trust that you want what is best for your constituents but you must consider that you may be going about it in the wrong way, losing the trust you so dearly wish to gain and retain. I believe your inherent goodness."

And once you have made some conciliatory remarks you go for the throat.

"You may have enough influence to steer the mass — the herd — in the direction you suggest but you cannot control the few. Just as you cannot control biology or environment or events. I see it. I am not blind. When you try to control but fail you resort to distraction and misdirection and do it so effectively that true consequences do not arrive at your doorstep but at ours. And despite our sense of insecurity we smile because we few who see realize that your only power is what we cede to you. It is on loan and illusory because you did nothing to earn it. People have the power. We have the power. Always. We lack only the spine to express it. We are weak, and disorganized, fighting amongst ourselves because the pressure is not yet great enough to unite us. One day though it might."

I suspect what leaders fear the most, and what the media is trying to prevent, is the rise of the armed, intelligent and charismatic intellectual, someone — or some many — who can communicate effectively, who can inspire others, someone who is politically “neutral” and could lead a meaningful protest or movement. Such individuals do exist and yes, those in power are rightfully fearful of this inevitability. We should be too.

Someone, a European, commented that he didn't understand the meaning of my words — my intent — these past few weeks. Hell, some days I don't even understand the details of that myself. But I do recognize that every time we heed "their" advice, the WHO advice, the CDC advice, about diet, about exercise, about fitness we become less healthy, and weaker, with less strength, less endurance — we become less capable — and if we obey, if we do as we are told we build a habit that leads to less autonomy, less freedom, with fewer possibilities to make individual decisions regarding our own health, and opportunity. If that's what you want so be it. If that is what you were working toward during the previous five years or ten years then so be it. If it wasn't then you need to ask questions, you need to risk the penalty for civil and social disobedience to do what you believe is right for you.

You need to stand up.

Show some spine.

Show your face.

No one is going to do it for you.